Let Him Show Up
Let him show you he really wants to be there. Not at 10 PM but at 10 AM when the day is just starting and he hates that you weren't by his side all night.
Let him show up and ask about your day.
Let him show up and be excited that he gets to spend time with you–every single time.
Let him show up for you the way you show up for him. Let him call, let him tell you he misses you, let his actions show you how he truly feels without you carefully dissecting every sentence that leaves his mouth and clinging to words he doesn't even realize he said.
If he wants to be there, he will.
If he wants you in his life, he will make it a point to keep you there. I promise you that.
Going three days without talking isn't cute, it's not incentive he wants you in his life. It takes 5 seconds to send someone a text. If he isn't texting you then there's another reason, and often times it doesn't have to do with you. It has to do with him. And it has to do with you not making excuses for his lack of communication.
This is something I struggle with. I'm great at convincing myself he cares about me but that's because I'm holding on to this idea of who I want him to be. He isn't giving me what I need, and I know that, so I romanticize him. I make him into the person I want him to be and am constantly making excuses for him when he lets me down – which is often.
I make excuses for him like, "he's just getting out of a long relationship." Or, "everyone heals at their own pace in their own way so I just need to give him a little more time." Or, "he must be busy with work or in the mountains so he doesn't have service."
All I'm doing is making excuses for him to treat me less than I deserve because I don't want to start over. I hate dating to be completely honest. I'd think most people do. I don't want to start getting to know someone all over again and again. I don't want to keep kissing frogs, that's not fun to me. I want to be hopeful he will come around so I cling to every little thing he gives and fill my head with this fantasy of all that we could become because holding on to what we could become at least gives me hope. Whereas, facing reality that there is no future rips all that hope away and forces me to start over instead of continuing to torture myself with what could be.
It's time to stop.
It's time to stop romanticizing him. It's time to stop thinking he's this magical man who will be the only one to ever make us feel this way. It's time to stop painting him into the picture when he clearly doesn't belong.
Let him show up.
Let him actually make an effort.
Let him prove to you he wants to be there.
Let him love you and care about you and treat you the way you know you deserve to be loved and cared about and treated. Demanding to be loved a certain way does not make you selfish, or needy. You know what you need and you should be with someone who meets your expectations because someone will – it's just not this guy.
If you stopped calling and texting him, would there be any communication between the two of you? Or are you exerting all your efforts to make keep him there, even if he's only partially there?
Let him show up. Let him really show up and if he doesn't, which he more than likely won't, keep moving on because someone wants a woman just like you but you're allowing your heart and mind to be entangled with a man who doesn't ever plan to show up the way you need him to.
Let him go and find someone who will show up the way you need him to.
You are not convenient, you are not convenient, you are not convenient.
You deserve someone who shows up. Let him show up. And if he doesn't, it's time to let him go.
You can purchase my new poetry book Careless here: