Let Him Prove He's Worthy To Be In Your Life

Photo by Mohamed Nohassi on Unsplash

Something I used to find myself doing all the time was questioning whether or not a guy I was potentially interested in liked me. I always would freak out saying things like, "Oh, I hope he likes me!" "What if he doesn't like me?" "What if I'm not ______ enough for him?" 

I always, always feared I wouldn't be enough for him or that he wouldn't like me instead of first even deciding if I liked him.

I always feared that he might find something wrong with me before he'd given me a real chance and leave. I was so worried he wouldn't like me that I didn't even really evaluate if I liked him, or if he would be someone I could be compatible with. 

It wasn't until I realized this that I also realized I always give guys too much credit too soon because I so badly wanted them to fit into my life. I'd put them before me, I'd make room for them, I'd try to accommodate them and make them more comfortable than I made myself. Most of the time we don't even fit and we aren't compatible but I ignore it because I just want someone there. I try to change who I am to fit their "likes" which is awful but I do it out of fear of not feeling enough or not being liked. 

Someone I look up to greatly once said something along the lines of, you don't sit around with your friends and wonder if they like you, you just know they like you and that allows you to be comfortable with yourself. You don't act different or pretend to be someone or something you're not. You just do you because you don't care what they think of you. 

Don't start giving him credit too soon, don't start prematurely building a relationship with him in your head, don't start twisting his words. Instead, let him show up. Let him prove to you he's worthy to be in your life because not everyone is and not everyone fits, even if you so desperately want him to. Most people can't love you the way you need to be loved and that has to be okay. 

Wanting to love and be loved back does not make you weak, in any way. But constantly giving love without receiving in back in a romantic way can be difficult and taxing. It's hard to feel rejected and let down.   

I go handing out compliments to guys, telling my friends about how awesome he is and start thinking it's so much more than it is before he even proves to me that he's worthy of my time and my energy. The more you talk about something the more real it becomes. So I talk, I exaggerate, I think it's more than it is and I'm always left feeling disappointed because I gave him too much credit too soon because all I want is to feel that love reciprocated. 

Now I realize just how important it is to stop giving guys that treatment; to stop wondering if they like me before I even decide if I like them. It's time to let them prove they are worthy to be in my life, that they're meeting my needs, that they're making me happy, that they're communicating. It's time to stop putting men on a pedestal like they can get away with anything when they treat me less than I deserve. It's time to stop trading respect for attention. It's time to stop trying to make something out of nothing. It's time to start putting myself first, being wholeheartedly myself around them and if they don't like me for me, that's fine. If they do like me for me, then it's time to decide if I like them. 

Stop giving him too much credit too soon. Stop prematurely jumping into relationships that don't exist. Let him first prove to you he's worthy to be in your life, then let the rest go from there.