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What I Learned About Self-Love On An 8 Week Weight Loss Journey

 

I decided to start a lifestyle change 8 weeks ago. I thought to myself, maybe I’ll be skinny for summer because tbh I was so unhappy with the way I looked and I have been for a long time. I didn’t want to feel gross and big and unattractive anymore because in my eyes that’s what I saw. I tugged and pulled and grabbed at my skin and always thought, I wonder what I would look like without this here.

I hated looking in the mirror. I hated what I saw. I hated how far I let myself go because I just didn’t care about my diet enough to watch what I was consuming when I was traveling or eating out. It started a whole negative spiral and I knew something had to change.

I woke up today and looked in the mirror after stepping on the scale. It’s been nearly 8 weeks and I’ve lost 14 pounds. I took progress photos and I was shocked by how much my body has changed in those 8 weeks and it dawned on me – I spent all this time hating myself, and for what?

My body has done so many incredible things for me it just didn’t make sense anymore to keep hating it or being disgusted by it. And if I learned one major thing throughout these 8 weeks it’s been that you can’t hate yourself into someone you love. You can’t. It’s not possible because believe me I’ve tried.

I realized that there is always going to be things I don’t like about my body but that doesn’t mean that I should hate it or be disgusted by it. It doesn’t mean that my body isn’t good enough because it’s got scars and stretch marks. It doesn’t mean I’m unattractive because I’m not a size 4. It doesn’t mean that I shouldn’t love myself because I’m not ‘perfect’ – screw perfect.

I learned self-love is a never ending journey. You don’t just wake up one morning and automatically love yourself.  Ha, I wish. Self-love is something you constantly have to work at every single day. There will be mornings you wake up and love yourself but by the time they day is over you hate yourself, and vice versa.

It’s a constant battle but it’s always worth fighting because hating yourself will never do you any good.

My body has done so many incredible things for me and I let myself forget all those things by focusing on the things I didn't like instead of the things I do like. I like that my body carried me through 20 years of athletics. I like that my body still continues to let me lift weights and allows my feet to take me miles. I like the mountains it has climbed and the rivers it has swam in. I love all the experiences I've had and those shouldn't be enjoyed any less because I don't love the way I look in a swim suit or a photo. 

Self-love is a complicated journey but through this 8-week progress I'm still the exact same person, just minus a few pounds and I think that's really important to recognize. Self-love has a lot to do with what's on the inside, not just what's on the outside. I lost 14 pounds but I'm still the same person, just with a new perspective. My friends don't love me anymore because of it, neither does my family because I'm still the exact same person with or without those pounds, and they still love me just for being me. 

I learned that hating yourself will never do you any good and the only way to love yourself is to take care of yourself and be kind, that makes all the difference. You are already enough, you just have to believe it and that comes with practice.