I Stopped Changing Myself To Please Guys And I'm Happier For It
I'm the girl that wants to be liked, not just by men but by everyone. I even want people I don't like to like me because that's just how I am, I've always felt a need to be accepted and approved by others. It's a little selfish maybe and definitely not realistic but for some reason I like being the girl everyone enjoys being around, which, yes, I'm aware isn't always the case, or possible.
Acceptance is what feels good and what makes us feel good about ourselves when we neglect our own needs, and when we don't like ourselves.
The other day I was eating dinner and talking to a guy on Tinder. He asked me what I made and I told him pasta but followed up with "I went on a hike so it's not as bad, right?" And he justified my unhealthy decision by following up with "you're right, it's not that bad, we all do it sometimes." And just like that I had justification from some random dude on the internet that my pasta decision for the second night in a row was now okay.
Then it hit me, I'm always seeking outside validation and approval, and for what? At the end of the day that guy who's name I don't even remember doesn't care if I'm eating pasta or not for the second night in a row or if I went on a hike or not because my decisions don't affect him. My decisions affect me and if I'm okay with something that should be enough.
I've always tried to mold myself into a cookie cutter shape of what someone else likes, but the truth is I'm not everyone's cup of tea and that's fine. Some people hate tea, some people prefer coffee, some people prefer neither and that is fine. That is why there are so many different types of people.
I don't have to like everyone and everyone doesn't have to like me so I finally decided it's time to stop forming to please other people and just be myself.
I decided it no longer matters if someone doesn't like me, especially a guy I might be interested in because if he isn't interested in me then there will be someone else who is. I decided it's better to not force relationships or conversations that aren't happening or working out because they will never leave you satisfied.
I decided it's no longer worth trying to fit into someone else's story when you don't belong because the right person will accept you for who you are, not who you try to be.
I stopped changing myself to please guys that I don't even care about and it's made a world of difference. It's allowed me to give myself permission to be who I am without reservation and that is a freeing feeling. It's allowed me to meet guys for a drink and not go in with any expectations. It's allowed me to become more open and look in the mirror and accept that I am enough just the way I am whether a random guy thinks so or not.
Allowing yourself the freedom to just accept where you are in your life, without hoping that every dude you come across is going to like you is an incredible feeling.
It's important to realize at the end of the day you have to be enough for yourself because if you're not the only person who can fix that is you.
It's important to realize you are enough just the way you are without justification from anyone else. Allow yourself to express yourself the way you want, to stand up for what you care about, to wear as much or as little makeup as you want and to just be proud of who you are. The right guy will love you for all you are and if he doesn't completely accept you then he's not the one, and there's no reason to force something that isn't there just so you don't have to be 'alone.'